I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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