I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
