spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize