Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
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Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
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I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
This toilet bowl is my home.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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