He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
