i don't want you to think of me as your TA
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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