I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
