i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
