i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
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Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
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I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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