Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
How does one acquire holy water?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
