My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
