so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I feel like abortions should bother me more
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
