Don't you send me to vm
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
