It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
