So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
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