Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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