I looked at my own cervix.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
