Where is the hickey?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
