Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize