Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
