so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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