we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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