My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
