he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
