our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize