I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Your penis caused this!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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