My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
