other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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