He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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