we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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