Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
