I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
