You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
