Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
