I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize