Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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