Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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