Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
