You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
