your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
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