i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize