I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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