is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
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Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
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IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Randomize