I think im going to throw up on grandma
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize