She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It's shark week go big or go home
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
