How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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