remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize