How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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