the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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