like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
