Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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