Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
