just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
