the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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