I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
