jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
we're so committed to being not committed
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
