He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
