Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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