That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
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I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
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He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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