that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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